Homely day, but I realise I kind of love staying at home! That's maybe because I'm really tired from all the night activities lately. I just felt great staying home today snuggling in my bed and cuddling with jingle all day long!

Home sweet home, now it really is!

Love, what is it?
Sometimes I wonder, why fall in love when you know you'll get hurt in the end? Well, I know that not all relationships turn out to be ugly like mine, there are really sweet couples around. My waxer just announced that she's three-months pregnant earlier on and I was very happy for her! And when people fall in love, they do the sillliest and craziest things. As for me, two craziest things I feel I've done.

Handmade this cross stitch piece, I rushed like five days four nights non-stop to finish it off and made it into a pillow. It looked so pretty that I even wanted to keep it for myself at that time!

This really dictionary-thick photo album I made. Hand wrapped the album inside out, and designed all the photos in it! It was so cute but I had to give it away.

Now I regret that I didn't keep these gifts to myself, I believe I would have appreciated and treasured it so much more than giving to someone else I barely know now. As I've said, it's always love blinded to do things like these. And when you're awake, you realise it's too late to regret because you've done all these with the one person in your heart. That's when the biggest hurt will be inflicted on you, and not the person who received these gifts. Because he would have moved on, leaving these gifts made from the heart in a corner to collect dust.

I hate myself for being so sentimental at times.

Okay, so I haven't been really active with this online journal. I'm really lazy nowadays to even type a 'Hi', lol. Let's be more serious now, I've been spending more time with friends lately, new or old, it's making me really happier. Not to mention, I've met this two really good friends and I think I won't know what to do with them, many thanks to JJ and JY if you guys happen to read this! Been spending more of my time with them, mostly pouring my heart out, repeating the same old words and sentences but I always feel so much better after.

You know, I kind of hate love now. Alrights, maybe I don't and will never one day hate being in love or being loved. But now, I'm totally not putting love as my first priority and I want to make it clear that I hate Herman Lo so very much now because this guy has literally threw all guys' faces. So guys guys, if you happen to know this person, you've ought to give him a good screwing for throwing all your faces totally. I've been there and I'm done with that, finished with this person because he totally doesn't even deserve to be here in this world, I shall curse him (oops, my bad) with all the swearing words I can even think of. His face just turns people off so badly, like today.

Haven't been getting enough sleep lately, I should try sleeping earlier to have a better health. Sleeping late causes my health to be bad, like getting bad gastrics, more dizzy spells, which in return causes me to feel very, very moody. I know my body can't take it, but wait, one thing good about sacrificing this sleep time for that someone, I don't get bad migranes that often now!
Oh, and did I tell you how happy I am now because I don't have to lose any more weight for no reason! Imagine me being in a love relationship but losing 5kilograms for that good-for-nothing-herman-guy. Not worth it and not good at all right! I'm taking back those kilograms, okay maybe just one or two more will do.

I'm very lazy, but Hi.

And NO, I don't even miss you a single bit on this supposedly-to-be-special day of ours.

Wake me up, when september ends.

Why am I always upset on my birthday month, every year it's the same. Is it my life or what? Maybe I've done too many bad deeds my previous life, now I'm repaying for the bad deeds. In return on every birthday, I get a full month of depression.

I'm waiting for someone who will never come back, waiting for a miracle that will never happen. My birthday wish, never granted. My prayers, never once answered. This is life, and I can't even fight against my own fate. My heart is beating for somebody else, not for myself.

Ironic.
I want to get myself out of this whole depression and heartache.

I'm drained, i need energy.
But where do i get it from? You?

I did the silliest thing today.

If you were wondering how i celebrated my twenty birthday, I didn't have a good one this year. And this is bound to make me feel heartache every birthday for the rest of my mind. I should've seeked the opinion of others and not put it on my birthday but it's all too late for regrets. I don't want to celebrate anymore birthdays.

Just came back from bangkok two nights back, the trip was totally shopping plus shopping and massages! Thai massages, my favourite! One thing bad was the hassle that me and my sister had to carry so much heavy loads because there wasn't any guy around to help. It was tough but good for learning to be independent in a foreign country. You practically have to be alert all the time and solve all problems on your own! My arms were aching so badly when i came back but it was all worthwhile. Everything else was okay over there, no riots and fighting like in the television, it's safe as long you don't go running around bangkok streets. Not many photos taken because we were busy doing shopping, massive shopping and returned with these!

I'm going over again year end, that's if everything works out. Plus, eastin hotel rocks!

I'm flying off to bangkok early next morning.

And i'm having slight pre-trip fear.

Damn.

Oh, and happy 20th birthday to myself!